Social Media & Social Comparisson
I listen to this NPR podcast called Hidden Brain, where they explore social science in the modern context. I heard an episode early last year called Schadenfacebook which has been reverberating in my thoughts for months. For those who don’t know Schadenfreude is “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others”. The podcast discusses using Facebook to validate our own lives and decision by comparing them with others or, in some cases, even making those decision predicated on what we think others are doing. Furthermore, the podcast discusses that social media applications do not reward ambiguity or ambivalence about life decisions; they reward the ups and downs of life, but not the in-between. Recently having watched the Black Mirror episode ‘Nosedive’ about a world in which our status in society is dictated by how others rate us on a 5-star scale, the discussion on Hidden Brain really struck me in terms of its potential impact on our psychological well being. (Sidebar: I was horrified to discover in researching this article that an actual app may have been launched in 2015 that aimed at creating a sort of Yelp for people or “Peeple”).
There has long been a debate about whether social media makes us more or less happy. Facebook executives might argue it’s not just whether you engage on social media that makes you more or less happy, but how you engage with social media. A recent Business Insider article outlined Facebook’s acknowledgement that social media can have a negative impact on society and subsequent rebuke to studies like the one mentioned here. The study cited by the Hidden Brain podcast came from Tel Aviv University and was the first somewhat randomized and controlled study looking at the effects of social media use on our perceived happiness. The results showed that those using social media were significantly less happy than those who did not, presumably due an increase in social comparison by users between themselves and others.
The study facilitators from Tel Aviv argue that social media makes us more comparative and that comparison takes us out of the moment and makes us feel less content. Imagine for a moment that you’re sitting on your couch cozied up with your dog (or cat or whatever), drinking a cup of tea and feeling relaxed and happy. You decided to stay in tonight because you’ve been feeling run down and really needed some rest. Perhaps you’re there with a significant other, a roommate or a friend. Without thinking, you reach for your phone and open up Facebook or Instagram. You notice that some friends of yours went to a concert together. Without a conscious thought, you find yourself feeling uneasy, or perhaps a little bit sad or upset. You’re no longer feeling relaxed or content, but anxious. Why wouldn’t they invite you? Don’t they know you like that band too? You may not have gone, but it would have been nice to be asked. Nevermind that you told your friends earlier in the week that you were staying in this weekend.
There’s an acronym that has been coined to describe this scenario--FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)--and it can have a real impact on our contentment with our lives. It is common opinion among social psychologists and anthropologists alike that human beings are social creatures that evolved amidst some kind of group dynamic. We strive for a sense of unity in our social circles and when we feel as though we are not a part of the group, we feel unhappy. Before social media, we may have never known about occasions where our social group did something without us. Or perhaps our “social circle” may have been smaller with easier to maintain relationships. In Sebastian Junger’s book Tribe, he argues that our evolutionary history as a communal social species makes us ill-adapted for the modern world and leaves us longing for the diehard sense of comradery that comes from the shared experiences, hardships and loyalty that small tribal societies provided.
I’m not mounting a complete attack on social media here. There are a myriad of opinions about the potential damage or the good that these applications can have on societies. Nor am I proposing that any of the opinions here are wholly correct. Frankly, I’m not sure I want to bond over the shared experience of my friends and family being murdered by a neighboring tribe. I am merely suggesting that social media might not be contributing a lot to our lives given the amount of time most of us spend with it.
We do have some modicum of control in how and when we chose to let this kind of media into our lives. A little over a year ago, I deleted the Facebook app off of my cell phone (and then did not log into my Facebook account through my browser, because that’s the same thing!). I continued to look at Facebook sometimes when I was on my desktop, but found that I became much less interested in spending time on it. I started to notice that I spent more time reading the news on my phone, or writing, or reading a book, all of which are behaviors I’ve been trying to reinforce in myself. In the past year, I haven’t really felt any desire or compulsion to put the app back on my phone. Most recently, I started a new full time job and have not stored my Facebook password on my new work computer. If I do, I know I’ll end up there without thinking about it.
If this resonates with you, perhaps do an experiment and take a break. Maybe for you it’s not Facebook, it’s Instagram or Snapchat or whatever. Give it a try. Delete the applications from your cell phone for 30 days. Or delete the stored password on your browser so you actively have to log in to look at your feed. Maybe start by just observing your behavior: How do you feel when you’re looking at your social media feed(s)? When do you find yourself looking at social media most frequently and on what device? What could help break the cycle of looking at social media or at least make it a more deliberate decision for you?